Thursday, October 20, 2005

Divorce Parties: The Next Inevitable Step

ABC News: Many Throw Parties to Toast Divorces

Apparently a growing trend among women is throwing a party to celebrate the end of a marriage and the start of a "new life." This seems different from taking a recently divorced friend to dinner or golfing to console them. The parties are for the purpose of celebrating-feeling joy and happiness at the end of a marriage.

Putting aside all the situations in which reasonable people would see possible merit in divorce, I think this reality exemplifies well the next inevitable step in our shameless culture. Instead of allowing an appropriate measure of shame and guilt to do its moral work in our lives, we strive effortlessly to make the shameful acceptable and the guilty asuaged and vindicated. An appropriate moral reaction to divorce (even divorce in extreme and horrible situations) should contain a great deal of remorse.

Replacing remorse with glee dulls our moral senses, our ability to reason morally, and thus the ethical shapes of our lives. We become more reprobate and feel better about it all the time.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for this Good post.

There are many who don't care about married lives. Divorce IS part of life and sadly so. As you rightly pointed out, our culture is being defined around this, guiltless world.

Some MAY consider divorce a western disease. To them, this is a development / change, just as same sex marriages, gay adoptions etc..

But I don't think they are just western or limited to societies that encourage personal freedom over what were termed "morals" couple of decades ago

I'm from India. The moment you talk of divorce my thoughts go back to my country...

As of date, under the Hindu Marriage act, there is NO concept of a NO fault divorce.

However divorces are on the increase in India !!. In many cities there is a runaway increase :-(. This isn't just my statement, but the statistics coming out of many a news report.

A latest report states "...In Andhra Pradesh ( a state in India with stellar success in the Info . Tech boom), for example, a third of all the pending cases related to “atrocities on women” as on June 30 2005 are those under sections 498 and 498(A). In the first six months this year, 3801 new cases under just these two sections were instituted....." (these two sections are regularly used by women in India to claim "cruelty" , mistreatment or dowry related cases TO GET A FAST DIVORCE :-((

Since no fault divorce doesn't exist, many women end up finding a fault to get a divorce. The bottom line is that men and women keep fighting each other - no fault or with faults !!

Well... Well...

India is a perfect example of a confused state between western and the oriental world. The society is fast westernizing but laws can't catch up. Aspirations are impractical and the legal system is left with loopholes for the unscrupulous to exploit. Many personal laws are antiquated. The Hindu Marriage act has been left un touched for a decade and in itself a problem. Divorces cases are ending up in bitter battles. Many reach up to the Supreme Court of India, after the couple have lost a decade litigating

In India and in Asia (as I can see from many Chinese blogs) life styles are changing every day. Aspirations are changing. Women are clamoring for more freedom. The joint family system which was the bed rock of Indian / Asian society is crumbling.

One should note that India is supposedly an economic powerhouse but has little or no old age support from government. Traditional families are also know to spend entire savings to educate their sons.

As a result families are dependent on their sons to maintain them.

After the son is educated, he gets married. When a wife comes in and throws her in-laws (son's parent's) away, aged parents (who had spent their entire savings on the sons) and other Dependant siblings are on the streets.

Honest men who resist these moves are often jailed using pro-wife laws.

The females want to live in style. When boy's family fails to cope up with the demand, the girl very cleverly uses the law to her rescue. The law still recognize an Indian wife as the helpless woman, she uses wife supporting provisions to frame (say 498A) false charges against innocent men. This leaves elderly parents, husband's siblings behind bars and penniless. The law unnecessarily pampers the women in India.

Women often succeed with divorce cases women because of sections like 498A and 406B. The guys go bankrupt.

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